Big Talk and Big Vision
Knowledge and Power
A few weeks ago I went to the grand opening party of a local small business. Like most mixers, it was designed to allow people to explore the space, imbibe, and mingle.
I found myself chatting with a fellow guest. After introductions, he asked what I did for a living. This is a very standard and polite question found in most adult conversations but a question I have come to dread.
When I shed my corporate executive skin and grew into my role as an entrepreneur or “soul-preneur” I left behind the easy answer that moves small talk to the next topic. When I say I’m an entrepreneur, I’m a storyteller and writer, or I work for myself, it naturally creates more questions than provides answers.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE talking about Bursting Through. It’s my business and daily work driven by my values, passion, and purpose but it is not small talk. In social situations like this my answer can, and sometimes does, turn a polite conversation into an awkward exchange.
The inevitable follow-up questions elevate small talk to big talk. Small talk is polite, trivial, and appropriate for business opening parties. Big talk delves into meaningful subjects, requiring self-reflection, offering a deeper understanding of a person, and can make people uncomfortable.
I am energized by big talk and exhausted by small talk but everyone is different. It’s impossible to know about another person's big talk/small talk energy until I see how they react to my expanded answer.
As I told him about Bursting Through’s ethos and desire to connect people through a deeper understanding of one another I witnessed my new friend nodding with understanding. It was clear he was an Ally and it seemed there was more.
I described how a Bursting Through story is different because it doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations about our differences. I continued that when we can have an emotionally mature exchange in a safe space and talk about the best way to support one another we all win.
He quickly picked this up and expanded the conversation using his lived experience. He shared that he struggled with mental illness and said “I wish my family and friends or ‘allies’ listened to me when things got rough instead of trying to commit me”.
One of the first things Bursting Through taught me was that all marginalized people need support and know what kind of support they need. The next thing I learned was how elusive that specific support often is despite a big family or large social circle.
Allyship is about listening to people when they tell you what support they need and is in no way exclusive to the Queer experience. I built Bursting Through around the Queer/Straight relationship because that is my lived experience but the BIG VISION is much more inclusive.
As Bursting Through grows I want to learn from and share how best to support other marginalized and often dismissed people. I want to hear and elevate stories from:
Women about the impact of the attack on their reproductive rights.
People of color who have to “live small” or hide their brilliance and abilities to make their lives easier.
Those who struggle with mental illness.
People with substance dependence.
Anyone who needs an active, tuned-in Ally.
I envision an innovative, enormous, and impactful Bursting Through symposium where we gather and connect through the power of storytelling and the human experience. The best way to create the world we want and deserve is to listen to one another’s personal stories with an open heart and give each other the type of support we need.
Thank you for being a Bursting Through member, an Active Ally, and part of the power of storytelling. To keep moving forward and bring the BIG VISION to life:
Follow me on Linkedin and encourage your network to as well.
Make a one time financial contribution to help me produce paid advertising.
Buy me a caffeinated beverage, in the form of a monthly membership, to keep me energized while I work.
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