Since the Electoral College decided Trump would win a second term, I have oscillated between total numbness and moments of complete clarity. I suspect I will discover more modes as things unfold and his second term begins, but this is where I am now.
I don’t seem to have the shock and anger I see coming from all my media channels. The results were far from what I wanted and believed they would be, but I didn’t have the time, attentiveness, or energy for what to me is empty outrage.
In the interest of mental health, everyone needs to express themselves and vent as they see fit. I am not criticizing anyone’s reactions to the future president's victory or daily announcements of administration officials; it’s all horrifying.
I made one post-election Facebook declaration on my personal page that stated: I'm a 56-year-old Queer American citizen slowly coming to the realization I will likely live the rest of my life with a certain degree of fear, lack of personal safety, surrounded by empowered homophobia that I thought was in my past.
My supportive network jumped in with comments encouraging me not to succumb to fear or give up. I appreciated the supportive words and understood where they came from but that statement was not about me knuckling under. I am far from that.
The statement was me using my mental health tools. My therapist has helped me accept my reality even when I don’t like it. In the past, I would have burned a lot of valuable energy fighting a Trump victory in unproductive ways. Now, I accept it and pivot to what to do about it.
Before I would have turned to my trusted political experts and analysts to help me make sense of it, explain it away, or otherwise comfort me through shared indignation. This time, I acknowledged my high-paid trusted voices, who have had nearly a decade to understand Trumpism, don’t have a clue, and decided that was not my answer.
I have felt for a long time that the countless political shows whose formula is to bring on political experts have been leaning into the wrong industry. The show's format might be political but when every show for years is about a deeply divided electorate they should be talking to experts in human behavior, not politicians.
I’m not a therapist or human behavior professional but I am a gay man, humanist, visionary, and connector of people. I have spent the last several years meeting people where they are and talking to them about creating a more caring and connected society.
When I talk to people, LGBTQ+ Allyship opens the door but the conversation rarely stays there. People tell me what is in their hearts and I hear their desire for community, kindness, and civility.
While we are talking, it all seems so simple. When the conversation ends, the solutions seem very far away. I think a lot about those personal interactions and how they contrast with what I see in the media and the political arena.
I don’t know how to change laws, but I do know people function better when they connect on a human level rather than a virtual level. I don’t have a huge platform or following but I know all great change starts with small groups of like-minded strong-willed people finding more like-minded strong-willed people.
I don’t know where we go from here but…
Sharing our stories is a good place to start.
The well-being of our LGBTQ+ loved ones is the responsibility of each of us.
LGBTQ+ Allyship means actively supporting the rights of the Queer community without being a member of it.
This is the perfect time to awaken and activate the power of your Allyship voice.
There is no wrong way to be an LGBTQ+ Ally.
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