My Allyship Awakening
Six years ago I created and hosted an event for my 50th birthday to benefit an LGBTQ+ charity close to my heart. There were multiple reasons this day was important to me. Looking back the most important was wanting my family and friends to see the world through my eyes as a gay man.
I don’t know if anyone saw the world through my eyes but I know, for the first time, I saw through some of theirs. Childhood schoolmates and college friends reentered my life and reintroduced themselves to me as Allies.
These people, whom I had known most of my life, opened up to me in new and unexpected ways. They told me Allyship stories of compassion, personal growth, and expanded love that I knew deep in my soul others needed to hear.
Age and experience gave us wisdom, emotional maturity, and courage to talk about things we couldn’t have in the past. The event unintentionally created a safe space that allowed people to be vulnerable and dare to share things they had not shared before.
I hadn’t framed the event for storytelling so it surprised me when stories emerged. I heard about favorite gay uncles lost to AIDS, parenting Queer children, homophobia turned to acceptance, and adult children who experienced a parent coming out late in life.
Although I was surprised that people were telling me their stories, I was not surprised by the feelings behind those stories.. The gateway into all the narratives was sexual orientation but that was NEVER the point. The stories were about special, life-changing relationships; the takeaway was always expanded love.
The experience activated something in me. I began to think about the Queer/Straight or Allyship relationship. Until then I hadn’t given it any deep thought. Allyship had just presented as another word for friendship or a political buzz word and I had left it at that.
Hearing my friends talk about their Allyship experiences changed me. It put me on a quest to seek out more stories, compelled me to create Bursting Through, and began teaching me the importance of Active Allyship.
Bursting Through is now three years old. I intentionally create safe spaces at community events and online to meet Allies where they are. By design, I ask them about their Allyship experiences, I listen with an open heart, and I am always left better by the interaction.
As a result, I have written and published over 60 Allyship stories, collected over 500 Allyship belief statements, and even written a yet-to-be-published book called Allyship Awakenings. I have learned more about love, connection, and the human experience from Allyship conversations than I could have imagined.
When I reflect on the first stories I know they represent the traditional view of Allyship, sharing how a straight person learned to broaden their definition of love from their close personal relationship with someone Queer. I now know there is a lot more to these crucial relationships, that Allies stories are a vital part of the Queer experience, and those early stories served as my Allyship Awakening.
Thank you for your Allyship, membership and being part of the journey. Please support my efforts to extend Bursting Through’s reach and get our book Allyship Awakenings published.
Follow me on Linkedin and encourage your network to as well.
Make a one time financial contribution to help me produce paid advertising.
Buy me a caffeinated beverage, in the form of a monthly membership, to keep me energized while I write.
Share this Substack post and ask your network to subscribe.
